


Dear John

by ExplosiveRanga



Series: The Faith Inherited Belongs to All and to All Sanctuary Shall be given [1]
Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Letters, Longing, thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-24
Updated: 2012-09-24
Packaged: 2017-11-14 22:48:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/520319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ExplosiveRanga/pseuds/ExplosiveRanga
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Helen Magnus has lived longer than anyone deserves to. She's tired and is swimming in self-pity. One day, she knows, she will die, and in her mind, that day can't come any sooner. She writes letters to the ones she's loved, only to be opened on the occasion of her death, shall she go first.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dear John

The Faith Inherited Belongs To All And To All Sanctuary Shall Be Given  
Dear John,

When we first met, I fell almost immediately in love with you. I thought that you were the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life, however long it may be, with. I suppose, sometimes I still do. 

You were charming, handsome, and intelligent; everything a girl like me could have wanted in a lover. Your voice was like expensive chocolate melted over delicate strawberries, so delicious and mouth-watering. I thought you were perfect. I may have been naive, though. I thought that maybe the world would stay like it was forever, just you and I, and possibly a child. That child transformed from a dream to a reality. My biggest regret though, is that you never got to know her properly.

You will never know the full extent of my pain the night I lost you, or the night I lost her. When James, Nikola and Nigel told me that you were the Ripper, that you were the man mutilating those women, defiling them, I was...Well, I was a lot of things. I was angry, betrayed, upset, but most of all, I was hurt. You vowed to me the night you proposed, after we had made love for the first time, that you would never, ever hurt me. But you did, and for that I can never forgive you. You promised, John!

I suppose it is my fault, though; my fault that you turned into that monster. It was my idea to inject ourselves with Vampire blood and as a result of that, you found teleportation and along with that, your demon. That evening at Oxford, when we injected ourselves with the serum, that is when I really began living. That is when my eyes were opened to the vast possibilities of the world, beyond humans and beyond what I knew of Abnormals. That night changed everything I was, everything I am, and everything I will ever be. It was so long ago now, though.

We had our moments, I admit. Those nights back in Oxford when we would stay curled up in your room making love all night without rest. I used to dream about those times, wishing that I was back there. Or when The Five were on the brink of discovery, and just before we unravelled the secrets, Nikola would suggest taking a break. We would grumble about it then, complaining but I think it made us come back down to earth, if only for a moment to take in the full extent of what we were doing. 

I miss The Five.

I miss those long sleepless nights.

I miss Ashley.

I miss the years that we could have had together, the three of us, as a family.

I miss us.

But life goes on, and the past cannot be changed. And I know that as I spill my heart out into this letter, it is all in vain because you will never read it.

There will always be a place in my heart for you, for as long as I live.

Sincerely, 

Helen


End file.
